The Resurrection of the Undead? – I’m a little confused!
Have you ever heard the crazy argument against cremation? It’s a really good one. Basically it goes like this: Chrisitans shouldn’t be cremated because they need their bodies intact if they are going to resurrect at the End of Days. By “The End of Days” I mean, The Judgment, The Apocalypse, or whatever else you want to call that time when the world comes to an end and God judges everybody and whatever else may or may not happen in that crazy time. You know what I mean. Back to what I was saying about cremation. I guess some people think that God can’t restore a body that has been burned. Most people think that the Bible indicates that God will raise our bodies from the dead and we will live forever, in our physical bodies, with God and it will be awesome. Most people, I assume, believe that there will be some touch-ups done to our rotten corpses before we kick off eternity in them. Maybe our bodies will be awesome like Jesus’ after his resurrection. He could walk through walls and disappear and hide his appearance and other X-Men type stuff like that. If Christ is the archetype for how we are going to be, then it will be like we have human 2.0 bodies. Pretty badass if you ask me.
So, that was a lot to say. Mostly just rambling, but, here is the point: what if some people are shambling around as zombies when God comes to resurrect the dead? I can think of a few different possibilities:
- There will never be any zombies on earth. They are fictional monsters. – Obviously this is stupid and wrong, since there are already zombies shambling all over the world!
- All zombies will be lost people. – Like the tagline says “When there’s no more room in Hell, the dead will walk the earth.” That might lead us to assume that all zombies are lost people who would have been in Hell, had Hell not been overbooked.
- Zombies will turn back into the people they were but be all messed up. – If it’s true that cremation will screw up the resurrection, then zombification could also really ruin someone’s post-undead eternity. Sure, you get to be human again, but now you’ve got all these nasty sores and burns and skin hanging off your face, and bullet holes from when that dumbass tried to shoot you while you were eating his wife. Not the ride I would want to spend forever in.
- People will unzombify and their decaying undead bodies will morph into awesome human 2.0 bodies. – This seems the most logical plan. Also it seems like the most awesome. Why is that? I just picture it being like that scene in Beauty and the Beast where the beast turns back into a dude (kind of a girly-dude, but that isn’t the point) now picture that happening all over the place as zombies turn into awesome super people. That would be really cool, and maybe instead of some emotional light and rain and all that like in Beauty and the Beast, it would be fire and explosions and other extremely badass stuff like that.
Well, that is my prediction for what will happen when God resurrects his zombified followers. What do you think?
One last note of awesomeness. This could be truly possible:
- Lazarus is born.
- Lazarus died.
- Jesus brought him back to life.
- We can assume he died again at some point.
- He comes back as a zombie.
- He gets killed by a crowbar to the noggin.
- He is resurrected AGAIN at The End of Days.
- That would mean Lazarus died 3 times AND came to life 4 times (including his original birth). That is so friggin’ awesome!